Lately I’ve found myself really drawn to the phrase “I want”

Certain phrases over the years have stuck with me. I spent a lot of time recently enthralled with the phrase “it’s important to me that ______”

(It’s a great phrase because you can use it in so many scenarios. To your boss - it’s important to me that I work on xyz project. To your friend - it’s important to me that we catch up since we haven’t talked in so long. To your partner - it’s important to me that you know how much I care about you.)

And lately I’ve really boiled things down and loved the phrase “I want”

I’ve been seeing this come up a lot in songs. When The Beatles sings “I want to hold your hand” it just strikes me as such a simple and lovely request. You know exactly what he wants, he just told you, and boom it’s lovely to hear!

“I want you to want me” or “I want you to feel me” or “I want you back”

I mean, lyrical prose and long flowing sentences are nice but sometimes you just want a simple “I want X”

Also, a lot of times our “I want” sentences come with stipulations.

I want him back if he’s changed.

I want you if you’re going to treat me right.

I want to be where you are if the school system there is good and the crime rate is low and there’s a Trader Joes nearby.

And that’s part of what makes listening to these “I want” songs so fun. There’s no stipulations, no extra words thrown on there out of caution. It’s just - I want you! I want you now! I want you back! I want to hold your hand!

Another reason it’s so great to listen to “I want” is because sometimes it’s beaten out of us to want. Most of the time I find myself wanting something, I usually follow it up with the frugal thought of “but do I need?”

I want new riding boots for this fall. But do I need them? I want my podcast to get 100,000 downloads for each episode. But is that too much to ask for? I want a happy marriage and children. But what if those things aren’t in the cards for me?

I don’t know if it’s paranoia or a lack mindset or a fear of not getting what we want - but most of the time, after we confess that we want something, we usually find ourselves subconsciously talking ourselves out of that want.

So, to work against my subconscious mindset, here are some things I want, and I hope you take the time to write down a few things that you want too.

I do want new riding boots for the fall. Tall, brown, sexy ones with a bit of a heel.
I want a lovely, unique fall coat
I want my podcast to be a booming success
I want a Serena Van Der Woodsen haircut
I want to be desired, or even just flirt for 15 minutes. I feel like I haven’t flirted in months and my flirt muscles are going to atrophy if I don’t use them within the next couple months.
I want to teach improv or sketch writing classes here in the city
I want to move…but I also don’t…I keep going back and forth on it
I want to interview Issy Beech the author for my podcast but damnit she is hard to track down but I want this badly!
I want to teach myself how to sew and alter my clothes
I want to get back into playing piano. And this is a want I talk myself out of so often (is there room for a keyboard in your apartment? is it worth the cost and the apartment space when you would play it so rarely?) but screw it, I want it!
I want to learn how to properly cook meat, and I want to learn how to cook those dishes that seem advanced, but let’s be honest…I’ve got time! I should learn how to cook these meals

And I want to get better at wanting. I want to get better at setting lofty goals for myself each month and wanting to achieve them. I think wanting is fun - or at the very least, so much more fun than needing, right?

Until the next one,
S

"I want"