Here's Why I'm Now Anti-Porn
Original post from December 9, 2019
Over the weekend, a #BanPorn debate started trending on Twitter. (I’ve seen some people refer to this as the “conservative twitter #BanPorn debate” and to that, I say can we just stop?)
It’s Twitter. There’s no need to divide and politicize everything.
At any rate, the debate kicked off after PornHub posted this image on Instagram.
The meme of Baby Yoda logging onto PornHub is now removed, but this was PornHub’s way of essentially saying, “we are marketing to children, and we know that children are watching our content.”
I used to not be anti-porn, in fact a few months ago I wrote a blog post about Riley Reid, and how much I like her personality (I know that sentence sounds satirical, but it’s true). But the more I’ve looked into and learned about the porn industry these past few months, the more I’ve become horrified about what I learn.
I recently watched an hour-long speech on YouTube by my sister-in-law, who works for a non-profit that fights against sexual exploitation, and I was completely gutted.
The speech brought up statistics and facts that I had never known or considered before, but the biggest stand-out to me was when Haley spoke about how young children are viewing porn.
When people our age, or older, view porn - the process is pretty different. You go to a website, you click out of the weird ads that pop-up, you ignore the strange videos on the sidebar, and you search for an actress or title and find a video you like.
Now imagine that you’re a 12-year-old. You go to a website, and immediately an ad pops-up of a women engaging in hardcore sex. You watch it for a bit, then click out. You’re on the home page, and you see strange videos on the sidebar with titles like “incest” or “step sister” or “teen” or “brutal”. You don’t search for an actress or genre because you don’t know what you like yet, so instead you stay on the home page, or click onto what’s suggested for you, and find yourself down a rabbit hole of intense videos.
What I’m about to tell you is a real statistic - 88% of all porn depicts violence against women. When I first heard that, I didn’t believe it.
Not my videos. I look for ones with a story, ones that are female-focused, ones that are romantic.
And it made sense suddenly why finding a video that I “liked” took upwards of 30 minutes. Why my girlfriends and I would share videos we liked with each other because it was so “rare” to find a “normal” one.
These young kids watching porn are being shown hardcore, brutal and violent videos and associate them with “women like this stuff”!
How could they not? The videos they’re watching is their first lesson in sexual education, and they will watch these for years before they even have sex.
I used to think porn was dangerous in regards to men having sex with women because it was unrealistic.
The woman is moaning in ecstasy the minute he touches her leg! She has an orgasm 15 seconds after he enters her. This just isn’t right, I used to think, guys are going to not know how to please a woman.
But now I realize it’s a lot more dangerous than that.
88% of all porn depicts violence against women. Choking, slapping, hitting, spitting, name calling. People are watching this and not only thinking I bet a woman will moan in ecstasy the minute I touch her leg but also: I bet a woman will really enjoy it if I abuse her.
I wouldn’t say this is exactly the case for people our age (even though I would argue that’s happening to a good number of people out there) but for the younger generation watching porn, that’s what they’re learning.
My general understanding with nearly everything in life is: If you’re afraid to look into the belly of an industry and see what really happens in it, it’s probably something you shouldn’t be supporting or endorsing. You don’t need to cut it off completely, but do less. Abstain more. Find alternatives.
I know that horrible things happen in factory farming, so I eat vegan at home (and often out) and donate to vegan non-profits. I’m nervous to look into how clothing is mass made, so I’m a member of Rent the Runway so I can rent my clothes instead.
Are you nervous to really find out what goes on behind the camera in porn?
The more I looked into the industry, the more shocked I was - not only about the horrible things that happen there, but that I was genuinely naive enough to think that this wasn’t going on.
And yes, not all porn is like this, but the point is: the majority is. You might get your meat from a local farmer, but 99% of US farmed animals come from factory farming.
The (vast) majority is what matters here.
Now, this isn’t to say that I’m against love, or sex, or masturbating, or taking nudes, or whatever it is you want to do. I’m a moderate, baby, I lean libertarian.
Just participate in alternatives. You can listen to audio porn, read erotic stories, there’s even this crazy concept of your imagination - and if you want to continue to watch porn, I won’t stop you. I just personally find it hard to participate in now that I know what happens.
Just google “responsible porn” or “porn alternatives” and you’ll find a whole host of creative options out there.
I read a quote somewhere that said “porn is the heroin of sex” and it made a lot of sense to me.
Not everyone who watches porn becomes addicted to it, but if you had to make a list of “the pros of watching porn” and “the cons of watching porn” I would bet some serious money on which list would be lengthier.
So whatever you want to do is up to you, but those are the reasons I’m officially off the PornHub wagon (or should I say “bang bus”? Sorry to make the crude joke, it was just right in front of me…).
I hope I didn’t come across as condescending or patronizing in this - it’s something new that I’m just learning about this year, and for anyone at any stage of dealing with porn, I really cast no judgement on you. I myself didn’t know any of this until a few months ago.
And I still do really like Riley Reid’s personality :)
Until the next one,
S