4 great excuses for avoiding responsibility in life
Life is hard enough as is. When you add “taking responsibility” and “being accountable” into the mix it becomes downright exhausting! Why not side-step responsibility altogether?
I’ve come up with four tried-and-tested excuses that you can use for any situation in life when you’re looking to avoid taking the blame for something. The onus should never be on you - not if you can help it! So take a page from FluentlyForward (or the internet equivalent, which would be bookmarking the homepage) and check out these 4 excuses for avoiding responsibility in life.
1. “I’ve been over-served”
Never admit that you’ve gotten too drunk. Never! Instead, blame the bartender.
Whenever you’re steps away from blacking out, and your friends look at you with worry in their eyes, just hold out your hands to them and say simply, “look, I’ve been over-served”
This takes all responsibility off of you and puts it onto whoever was feeding you drinks throughout the night. And if you’re out at a houseparty where there is no bartender, just double down and insist that someone over-served you at the party. It will turn into a hunt to find who served you too much, and then people will have forgotten about the fact that you’re, in fact, way too drunk.
2. Alternate between “family issues” and “work just came up”
This excuse is great for two sides of the same coin. It’s a vague way to remove yourself from any situation and deny taking responsibility for fulfilling something.
When you’re trying to get out of responsibility at work, just claim “family issues” and you’ll be guaranteed relief from whatever you want to escape. And if you’re at a family function and you desperately want to escape any responsibility at the event, use the inverse and claim there are “work issues”
This takes a good amount of pre-planning to pull off though! You must not tell people at work too much about your family, and you must not tell your family members too much about work. Otherwise, there will be follow-up questions and you might, in fact, have to finish that Powerpoint Presentation/clean up after Thanksgiving.
3. “It wasn’t me, I was possessed by the devil”
I like to use this one as a last-resort. Just last week, I had been over-served and started a fight with the guy I’m dating. The next morning he wanted to talk about my erratic behavior and I knew I needed a Hail-Mary of an excuse. It went something like this:
“Shannon, you weren’t acting like yourself last night.”
“Yes, I completely agree with you. The reason for that is because I was possessed by the devil.”
This is a great way to take accountability off yourself! Say that a satanic entity entered your body and you’ll be absolved of all responsibility. Your partner might think that you’re actually insane, but if you look cute enough while saying this it just might work.
4. “I’m on new birth control and it’s throwing my hormones into a spiral”
Hormones are this wacky thing that like…apparently change your personality? And makes you grow hair in certain places? And then makes you gain weight in other places?
I’m not a doctor, I’m just a massively successful blogger, but I think we can all agree that hormones can do serious damage.
So to avoid responsibility, say that you’re on birth control and it’s throwing you into a complete haze! And I know you might think “this excuse only works for women” but you would be wrong! Say that you’re taking birth control as a man and double down on that. That’s why you’re acting so unusual and can’t take responsibility - because you’re taking medication meant for women! Simple!
And if you’re a woman say that you’re taking Rogaine and it’s messing with your hormones. People will be like “wait, is that a thing that can happen?” and then boom you leave the room. Confuse it and lose it!!!!
I hope that these four excuses help you in any future instances where you find yourself having to…ugh, take accountability for something. Taking accountability was so very last year, so join me in leaving it behind and taking up excuses instead.
And if you use any of these and they don’t work, for the love of god, don’t tell people that FluentlyForward is to blame. If I won’t take accountability for myself, you can bet your socks I won’t take accountability for you either!!
Cheers to our healthy living,
S