How to play "hard to get" with the FBI agent who is watching you through your laptop camera
It’s 2020, and you’re in house arrest after having been placed on a “high risk” list. You have a sneaking suspicion that the FBI is monitoring you through your laptop camera, and you have to think…aww, I guess someone’s taken notice of little old me, huh?
The FBI wants you - and they want you bad. It’s almost embarrassing! Keep it in your pants, America.
But like any game of courtship, you need to play your part! Don’t just throw yourself at the FBI…make them work for it a little bit.
Here’s how to tease and play “hard to get” with the FBI agent who is monitoring you
Post an alt-right conspiracy theory to your Instagram story, and then monitor who views it
The FBI guy can stalk your Instagram page anonymously all he wants - but if he views your Instagram story you’re going to be able to see that he viewed it.
Post an Instagram story so tantalizing and insanely far-right that he simply has to click on your avatar and view it. Then you can spend the rest of the day on cloud nine, knowing that he checked up on you!
Make him jealous by showing that other foreign agencies are also interested in arresting you
Sure, the FBI is interested in you…but you want to make it known that you have a lot of balls in the air!
Since your FBI agent is monitoring you through your laptop camera, make sure to casually drop phrases around your computer about other foreign agencies that are vying for your attention.
“Oh my god, MOSSAD won’t stop calling me” or “I can’t believe the KGB double texts me so often” and things like that are sure to get his attention.
Throw a party Start a militia in the hopes that he casually shows up
When playing hard to get, most people try to set up casual ways that they can run into their object of affection. Sometimes you can throw a party, just in the hopes that someone special will show up to it.
In order to get a little face-time with your FBI agent, try starting a militia! Gather some of your most radical friends and host an initiation night. Make sure to keep an eye out on the door throughout the night though…for when your special agent decides to make an appearance and you can greet him with a drink and a sentence like “oh hi there, I didn’t know you would be stopping by”
I hope that these tips help you to woo your FBI agent in a teasing and provocative way. Hopefully you can steal his heart just like the 2020 election was stolen!!!! (btw, another great line to use to keep him interested in you)
Please, please leave a comment if you use any of these tips and let me know how it works!
Until the next one,
S