7 doppelgänger comparisons that have offended me
A rule I’ve learned during my 27 years here on earth is to never tell someone who their doppelgänger is.
If someone ever asks you “hey, what celebrity do you think I look like” there is only one correct answer, and that is Adriana Lima. If you suggest that they look like anyone other than Adriana Lima, you run a high probable risk of offending them.
Of course, this is something that I know from experience - so without any further adieu, here are 7 doppelgänger comparisons that have offended me.
1. Heidi Montag before her plastic surgery
I know it’s specific, but I have been told “you look like Heidi Montag before her plastic surgery” by random girls more than 10 times in my life.
If you, like me, did not know who Heidi Montag was, but after hearing this comparison, absolutely have to know - here is a photo of her before surgery (on the left) and after surgery (on the right)
Of all my doppelgänger comparisons, I view this one as the most accurate because it has been said so many times by strangers. Strangers give you the truest physical comments because they just see your face - and none of the wonderful personality underneath it that makes you look hotter somehow.
That being said - this doppelgänger comparison offended me. Also, I have gotten plastic surgery (details in the following) so I heed this Heidi Montag look-a-like comment as a word of warning that if I continue my plastic surgery ways, I could look like both Heidi Montag before her surgery, as well as Heidi after the botch job.
2. Lady Gaga
So I was a junior in college, getting ready to show prospective high school students around the Rice Campus. I was really feeling myself that day for some reason, so I decided to throw on red lipstick, a Rice shirt, and go meet my group of high schoolers. I felt confident. I felt…dare I say sexy.
One of the prospective students was a girl who was popular. She had this air of confidence as a high schooler that I had just spent the last three years in college trying to embody. I was four years her senior, but with just a bored hand shake and laissez faire introduction she made me her beta dog bitch. It was a low moment. I suddenly felt very unsure of myself, and very regretful of putting on red lipstick.
Then the cool girl turned to me and said, “you know, you remind me of a celebrity” and my heart soared until she continued with, “Lady Gaga. You have her nose.”
This was, obviously, before I had gotten my nose job.
Do not ever compare anyone to Lady Gaga, ever!!!! The only time you can do this is if you see someone singing a duet with Bradley Cooper! That is the only time you can compare someone to Lady Gaga and have it come off nicely.
Anyway, here’s me graduating from Rice pre-nose job if you want to see how accurate the comparison was. The words of the popular high school girl still haunt me to this day.
3. That frizzy haired girl from Vine
This comparison triggers me, but only because of how real it is. Here is the girl from Vine that my sister swears is an exact replica of me.
Did I look like this throughout 100% of middle school and 90% of high school? Yes. Yes, I did. But that doesn’t mean that the comment still doesn’t hurt!
Also - shoutout to Keratin. Otherwise I would still look like this.
4. Nicole Kidman (but just her eyes)
Let me just say, I think that Nicole Kidman is hot. Who doesn’t? First of all, it’s my belief that all Australian women are hot. Then add the fact that this is an Australian Actress to the mix, and you have an incredibly hot person.
Just look at her.
So if someone said that I look like Nicole Kidman, I would be wildly excited. But no, my friend said, “you look like Nicole Kidman” and I got very excited…and then he continued, “but just her eyes, you have the same like, eye area that she does”
And then I turned to Google and realized that Nicole Kidman is strikingly beautiful everywhere except for her eyes.
Hence, I am triggered!!!
5. An Emu
Technically, an Emu is not a celebrity but I am still putting this on the list because of how much it offended me (which was to the moon and back).
Back in middle school I was sitting around a lunch table with friends, talking about random things. One of the questions we were asking each other was “what animal reminds you of each person?” and we were talking about which animal gave off a vibe or similar energy to our friends.
It was supposed to be purely things like, “Donna reminds me of an otter because she is so playful!” but instead Tony turned to me and said, “Shannon you look like an emu”
Sure, it’s not a celebrity comparison. But apparently an emu is my animal doppelgänger and if you’ve ever googled an emu (which I frantically did as soon as I got home from school that day) you’ll find that they are absolutely terrifying.
Do you see the resemblance?
6. Kristen Wiig
The entire backstory for this doppelgänger comparison can be found in this blog post here, but back when my now-boyfriend and I were dating, he said that I reminded him of Kristen Wiig. Or actually, more accurately, while we were kissing on a couch he paused and said that I reminded him of Kristen Wiig.
If he had said that after I made a joke, or performed improv, it would have been great. But he said it while kissing me, and I took it incredibly personally. So it makes the list!
7. Amy Adams / Alyson Hannigan
I don’t know people have said that I look like these women before, but because they’re ginger it’s slightly triggering. Is my blonde hair not blonde enough? Why do I remind you of a red head? I don’t pay Joseph the blonde colorist in the East Village $350 every time I see him just so I can be compared to a ginger! Triggered!
With all of this being said, there are doppelgänger comparisons I’ve gotten over the years that have delighted me. When I went viral on TikTok, a lot of people said I look like Gwyneth Paltrow.
However, I was also offended on TikTok when the HEIDI BEFORE SURGERY COMMENT CAME UP, YET AGAIN! WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THIS?
So, I suppose that’s it. I need to end this blog post before my triggeredness reaches all-star, rocket-to-the-moon levels of height.
To close - do not ever tell anyone they look like Lady Gaga! And if you want a bunch of Generation Z kids to tell you who you look like, consider making a TikTok! I hope you learned a lot of important things from this very important blog post!
Until the next one,
S